midnightjuly | (no subject)

rarewomen happened, and I got the most amazing Doctor Who story! the courage of your lungs: 5 people Jenny ran into while saving the universe -- this is the fic of my dreams, you guys. Daydreams, I mean, because my dreams are generally dull yet creepy, and this is the total opposite of that. But literally everything I have wanted since seeing The Doctor's Daughter, except now I'm a little sad that this isn't a TV show. I want to watch it every single day. ;______;

In other news, classes started yesterday, and I am already planning to drop out again /o\ WHY DO I KEEP DOING THIS TO MYSELF? Going back to school, I mean, not dropping out. It is very clear to me why I keep dropping out, because I DON'T LIKE SCHOOL I DON'T LIKE WORK AND MY AMBITIONS ARE ALL THINGS I CAN'T GET DEGREES IN AND IF I FINISH THIS DEGREE THE ONLY QUALIFICATIONS IT WILL GIVE ME ARE IN THE FIELD I'M ALREADY IN AND DESPERATELY WANT TO GET OUT OF. jfc, self. Yesterday was a good day, though -- I liked that class (whereas my class today had an awesome prof but the material itself is everything I hate about academia, and my distance course is actually the worst thing, oh my god, it's a health class that includes calorie-counting as an assignment and encourages dangerous exercise and seems to think that there are only two eating disorders and that the BMI is infallible and NO) -- but when I thought long and hard today about whether I want to stick this out, the only thing I'd really feel like I'm missing out on is tea with

coppertone after class, which probably I can do outside of a university setting. Honestly, I think I'm going to drop everything but the free distance safety course, mostly because I can complete it in a couple of hours and can then add WHMIS training to my resume. /o\ Speaking of which, I guess it's time to update my resume, because if I'm not going to do the school thing, I desperately need to find a new job. :D:

ANYWAY, we shall see, I guess! In better news, today I bought my mom part of her mother's day gift (a Hellboy one-shot featuring a bunch of puppies!) and got free tea and napped and felt a lot less sick (cutting coffee and meat out of my diet has improved things exponentially, which makes me a little sad but mostly grateful) and Nan visited and I watched TV with my mom, and really I guess it's been a good day, even if the education part was terrible. \o?

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UGH UGH UGH. I hear you. Finding the perfect job/education/calling thing is like finding the perfect romance, I feel. There are a REALLY REALLY LOT of people who just settle for the things that don't make them happy, but make them not miserable and are easy enough. I hate my job :( I just want to buy a house and grow a garden and have goats and bees and learn to throw pots bake things from scratch and have dinner parties and drink champagne in the middle of the day for no reason and ALWAYS ALWAYS fly coven over for visits. :(

THIS IS WHAT I WANT FROM LIFE, FOR REAL. Right down to the goats and bees and midday champagne. I honestly feel like the work that I want to do is, like, working in a shop or something and not doing the ~career thing at ALL because you know what, my grand ambition is to be happy and healthy and have enough money that I continue to live in the manner to which I am accustomed, and that manner is Netflix and comic books and ordering a pizza every now and then, and I am really, really okay with that. \o?

You should totally drop out if school does not abet your long-term ambitions. Why spend the money and the time and the work if it's not going to lead you somewhere you want to be?

Also that "health" class sounds TERRIBLE and guaranteed to prompt or exacerbate eating disorders in its students. Education fail.

So true! I think I'm doing the sunk cost fallacy thing -- I've already spent a fair bit of time and money and work on the degree, so obviously it's worth finishing! Except really, I think it's time to cut my losses and move on.

Ugh, it's totally the worst. This morning I was going to drop it and went 'no, maybe I'm exaggerating to myself!' and then looked through the material again and it's just as awful as . The online notes are meant to supplement the text (which I hadn't bought yet) so I'm hoping it's a good textbook, at least, because it's a little scary to think of the 100+ students in the class taking in all of that. But I dropped the course after all, so I won't be sticking around to find out how good/bad it is. \o/